


and you'll see me as I am

by sherlck (scienceofdeducjohn)



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marvin finally apologizes to Whizzer, Soft marvin, but can be set during any time between the beginning and end of act 2, probably works best if you imagine it set after whizzer is admitted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 21:41:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18018974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scienceofdeducjohn/pseuds/sherlck
Summary: Marvin finally apologizes. Whizzer holds him through it.-Marvin relaxes against him, breathing in his cologne.God,he thinks,I don’t deserve any of this. Not after what I’ve done to you.“I wish I had… back when… I wish I’d done things differently. Wish I’d been different.”





	and you'll see me as I am

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this while writing my multi-chapter Whizzvin fic because I needed to give all these emotions about their relationship a place. I'm quite satisfied with it (even though I made myself suffer through even more sadness rip) and I hope you guys like it too!
> 
> Title from No One To Blame by Villagers: __  
> "And you'll see me as I am  
>  Just an empty, broken shell  
> Then I'll have no one to blame  
> Guess I've got no one to blame  
> But myself"

“I’m scared too, okay?”

Marvin nods, wiping his tear streaked cheek before running a hand through his hair nervously. “I know.” He chokes out, and he shudders as he exhales. “I know.” He whispers again, fixating on the top button of Whizzer’s shirt.

“Hey.”

Marvin blinks, once, then twice; he doesn’t want to face him like this, while he’s still crying. No, Whizzer shouldn’t see him like this, doesn’t deserve to feel guilty about Marvin’s pathetic breakdown. _Fuck_.

“Look at me, Marvin.” But now Whizzer’s hand is on his chin and Marvin can see his watery eyes and he shakes his head as he takes in a shuddering breath and bites his lip to keep from breaking out into sobs again. “You don’t have to do this all by yourself. I’m here for you, and I will always be.”

“You don’t…” Marvin’s voice breaks, and he grabs hold of Whizzer’s arm to lean heavily on him. Whizzer covers his hand with his own. “You don’t know that.” And he lets his head fall against Whizzer’s chest, finally allowing himself to let it all out: the years of pent up frustration and worry and _need_. He’s vaguely reminded of that time Trina had admitted to having felt like breaking down so desperately that she hadn’t known what to do with herself. He wonders if this is what she felt. Meanwhile, Whizzer rubs his back.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He says it with so much resolution, like he really means it, and Marvin almost believes him. As if to prove his point, he pulls Marvin closer, into a tight hug.

Marvin relaxes against him, breathing in his cologne. _God_ , he thinks, _I don’t deserve any of this. Not after what I’ve done to you_. “I wish I had… back when… I wish I’d done things differently. Wish I’d been different.” He whispers against his neck, feeling at least part of the guilt dropping from his shoulders at the belated admission. His fingers dig involuntarily into Whizzer’s shoulders as he waits for a reaction: words, a sigh, _anything_.

Whizzer doesn’t reply.

Marvin wants to climb inside Whizzer’s warmth and comfort and hide there, never to come out. He doesn’t, though; instead, he forces himself to push forward.

“I was terrible. I didn’t deserve you.”

“Yeah.” Whizzer replies softly, hand carding gently through Marvin’s curls in contrast to his words. “You were.”

“I’m so sorry, Whizzer. I’m so sorry.” And he wishes it didn’t sound like a cheap trick designed to win him back over, wishes it sounded like all the guilt he’s felt ever since. But somehow, miraculously, Whizzer seems to understand. Because he’s _Whizzer_. Because he’s the only man who never fails to surprise him. But he’s never been good with words.

So there are hands on his neck, then one cupping his wet cheek. Marvin lifts his head to look at him properly; he sees tears running down his face but he leans down to kiss him anyway. It’s uncharacteristically delicate and slow, as if to say: _I know_.

“I love you, Marvin.” He murmurs against his parched lips.

“Whizzer,” Marvin’s breath catches in his throat, but somehow he finds the words. “I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think on tumblr (I'm @scienceofdeducjohn) or here in the comments! <3


End file.
